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Christa: I actually approached someone on the train recently and he was totally ok with it but yeah it was kind of up to me to make a move.
Chiara: Um, let’s say in another field I had to make the first step.
I had heard that Japanese guys tend to be intimidated by foreign women.
When I first came, I felt no guys found me attractive since they never looked my way.
My friend, an American guy, has experienced a lot of first dates where the women already bring up kids and marriage and he’s like ‘woah, what about your favorite music first?
’ Rebecca: My experience dating foreign guys here has been comparable to back home – so pretty awful actually – but the general picture of foreign guys in Japan is that they really want to date Japanese girls.
Rebecca: Yeah I don’t know any of my Japanese girlfriends who would directly approach a guy.
Rebecca: Yeah, it seems like back home dating is really much more frequent.
Rebecca: I wasn’t so attracted to Japanese men but now after living here for three years I would say I definitely am. Christa: I’ve always been attracted to Japanese men, even when I was young, so I did some research before I came here and I saw that generally they are interested but they’re very shy about approaching women so you may need to approach them.
So now when I go home I immediately look for the nearest Asian guy like ‘Hey! Christa: I was with a girlfriend in Shibuya and two men approached us on the street and we went out for drinks. *Laughter* Rebecca: Exactly, each time that’s happened to me the guy has been pretty hammered.
Chiara: Or if they don’t want to talk to you then there’s just silence. I’ve noticed that if I show a little too much enthusiasm or come across as too independent, that will trigger silence.
Like if I initiate wanting to meet that puts some guys off here.